are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
