i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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