whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
