It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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