one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
