Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
