it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
