I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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