I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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