You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
