'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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