your parents love me but you hate me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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