definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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