her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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