definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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