So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
