Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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