It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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