i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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