Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
