im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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