His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize