I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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