I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
