i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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