Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize