literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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