The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
