having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize