It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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