capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
