im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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