whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
