She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
