Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
