Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i need some magic done to my vagina
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
