The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
false alarm. still invincible.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
