so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
