The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
