You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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