She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize