So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
