my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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