U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
