This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
