just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize