For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize