did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
