After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize