we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
