Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
