Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
