he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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