If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
