he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
