new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Floor bacon is actually really good
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
