remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize