It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize