Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
