i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
