I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
