I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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