i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
