You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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