I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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