I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think my moral compass just broke
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
