even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
