I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
