I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize