If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
