I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
