hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
